Poison
by xotakux2002x
Summary: deidara's life is toxic, slowly killing him from the inside out. how long before the blonde tries to finish the process? sasodei dark, oneshot


THUNK

"Ow, un!" Deidara rubbed the back of his head, now sore from the piece of wood his partner had thrown at him.

"Will you shut the hell up, brat?!" the puppet master was in an extremely bad mood, and Deidara happened to get caught in the line of fire.

"I didn't do anything to you, danna, un," the blonde muttered, grabbing his clay. Silently he worked it into small shapes on his bed, sulking. Sasori was tempted to apologize, but his pride held him back. An uncomfortable silence filled the air. Deidara couldn't take it, and soon left the room.

"Sempai!" He immediately wished he hadn't left the room. Tobi was there, ready to play. That was the last thing the blonde wanted to do. Time for plan B.

"Ok, Tobi, we're going to play hide and seek, un. You hide, and I'll try to find you, all right, un?"

"YAY! Tobi loves this game!"

"Good, then go and hide, un!"

Tobi ran off, and Deidara pretended to count. Once he was out of sight, however, Deidara grinned and walked off. "_Works every time."_ The blonde walked out of the base and climbed onto the roof, staring at the sunset. His smile faded, and he pulled his knees up to his chest. This sucked. Sasori was mad at him again. Honestly, he didn't know why he even tried to be nice to the puppet. Not once had the redhead acknowledged that he had a name other than 'brat', and he rarely spoke to him other than mock his art or scold him.

Deidara uncurled his legs and stretched out. Well, that was how it always was, so why the hell should he expect anything more from the puppet? He stared at the sky, watching until the sun had completely set. Slowly, he rose to his feet and walked back inside.

He came into the living room and found Tobi sulking. "Deidara sempai, why didn't you come find me?" he whined.

Deidara plastered on a huge, fake grin. "Simple, un. You're so good at this game, I couldn't find you, un."

Tobi perked up. "Really?!"

"Yes, un," Deidara continued, lying through his teeth.

"YAY!" Deidara smirked and walked off.

"You're a real bastard to that brat, you know?" Hidan was in the kitchen.

Deidara frowned and tried to go past him. "That kid's a pain, and you know it, un."

Hidan smirked. "You're one to talk. Everyone around here calls you a pain too, whining about your fucking art all the time. Honestly, it was bad enough with just that freaky puppet bitching about it, but we can hear your freaking arguments through the walls in the middle of the night."

"Hidan, why don't you go and sacrifice someone to Jasmin, or something, un."

Hidan's eyes widened in rage. "It's Jashin, you fucking asshole!"

Deidara laughed. "Oh, like anyone cares, un." He walked out of the kitchen, turning around at the door. "And for the record, you yell a lot louder than Sasori-danna or I ever could, un."

Deidara crept into the room he shared with Sasori, who was hard at work on one of his puppets. "Back already, brat?" Deidara nodded. "Well, just stay quiet." Deidara nodded again and crawled onto his bed. Soon enough, he fell asleep.

Sasori watched him while he slept. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

--

The next day, Deidara got up early and went downstairs for breakfast. Kakuzu and Itachi were in the kitchen, sitting at the bar. Deidara grabbed some cereal and sat down at the table, rubbing his eyes. He hated mornings. They would be so much better if they started a few hours later. Sighing, he stirred his cereal.

Kisame entered the room, going to sit by Itachi. "Morning all." The three Akatsuki members grunted in reply. Honestly, Kisame must have been the only morning person in the whole building. He looked over to Deidara. "Yo, kid. Did you and Hidan fight again?"

"Why, un?"

"Because he's been on the war path since last night," Kakuzu finished. Deidara smirked. "Yeah, I pissed him off about his religion again, un."

Kakuzu sighed. "Great, and I'M going to have to calm him down." He rose from his feet. "Thanks a lot, blondie." Deidara was seriously beginning to wonder if any of these people were aware that he had a name.

Itachi stood and walked towards the doorway. He walked over to Deidara. "Here's some friendly advice. Just ignore Hidan from now on. It's getting seriously annoying to have to endure days of uncomfortable silence because you two can't keep your mouths shut around each other." He walked out of the room, Kisame silently following him.

Deidara rose angrily, dumping his remaining breakfast down the trash compactor. He stormed outside, going deep into the woods.

--

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Deidara smiled at the explosion he had created. It felt good to make his art. The explosions were surprisingly relaxing, and he couldn't stay mad for long when he created his birds and bugs. He formed another spider, quickly tossing it forward.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Deidara was tempted to go back to the base (he was running low on clay) but when he thought of the other Akatsuki members, his anger returned. He reached into his bag again. He was staying out here until all his clay was gone. As he set off the next bomb, he sighed sadly. _"I wonder what it would be like if I blew up like that…"_

--

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Sasori sighed and stared out the window. Deidara was at it again. It really couldn't be healthy for a person to take out the anger by blowing things up (come to think of it, that's probably how the blonde got to be an S-ranked criminal in the first place).

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Sasori got up and walked over to his desk, sitting down. He was tempted to go out there and ask the blonde what was wrong, but he decided against it. The blonde could work it out himself, whatever it was…

--

A few hours later, Deidara ran out of clay and headed back into the base. Itachi was sitting in the living room, reading. "So, you finally ran out of things to blow up?"

"Yeah, what's it to you, un?"

"Nothing." Itachi returned his focus to his book. "It just seems a total waste of time to go out and blow things up for no reason, other than the fact that you got mad." Deidara stomped off before Itachi could continue. "Dumb brat," the Uchiha muttered.

Deidara stomped into the bedroom and flopped down onto the bed. Great. He'd used all his clay, and now, thanks to Itachi, he was as mad as before.

"Back already?"

Deidara started at the sound. He had noticed Sasori when he came in. "Yeah, danna," he muttered. He sat up and turned around to face his partner. "Why do you ask, un?"

"No reason." Sasori was focusing on one of his puppets, not even looking at his partner. Deidara lay back on the bed, allowing the sound of his partner's work to relax him. Although he hated to admit it, he loved being in the room with Sasori, when all was quiet, save for the creaks and squeaks of Sasori's puppets. It meant that even if they fought all the time, Sasori could stand to have Deidara around him. That was more than anyone had ever given the blonde, and Deidara had learned to take what you can get in life.

Deidara's mind came back into focus. Something didn't sound right. It took him a minute to realize that he could no longer hear Sasori working on his puppets. He sat up, curious. Sasori was rummaging through his desk drawers, probably looking for a part or tool. The puppet master finally pulled out a tan bag. "What's in that, un?"

He barely caught the bag before it collided with his face. "Open it." Sasori turned back to his puppets as soon as the command was uttered.

Deidara quickly unwrapped the bag, and his eyes widened. There was a large amount of clay in the bag, as well as a new pouch to carry it in. "Danna?" he asked, confused.

"You said you were almost out of clay, so I got you some," the red head answered, not bothering to turn around. Deidara lunged at him, pulling him into a tight hug. "What the hell?!"

"Thank you Sasori danna, un!" Deidara gave his partner a huge grin.

"Get the hell off me, brat!" Deidara reluctantly let go off him. "You're welcome. Now let me get back to work!" Deidara sat down on the bed, already molding the clay into small birds. Sasori resisted the overwhelming urge to smile. At least his partner didn't have that morbid look on his face anymore. The blonde may look happy 24/7, but some days, Sasori just didn't know what to expect from him…he shook his head. He shouldn't think like that. Deidara was just a happy-go-lucky kid who pouted sometimes. Nothing more.

Deidara couldn't stop smiling. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had given him a gift. Did this mean Sasori cared about him? He hoped so. If that was the case, maybe Sasori would be nicer to him more often. And then, life wouldn't seem so bad…

--

The next day, Sasori and Deidara had to leave on a mission. The two artists quickly packed up and prepared to go. When they got to the kitchen, however, Pein stopped them. "I need to talk to you two. Particularly you, Deidara." Deidara raised a brow. "I know it helps you let off steam, but if you keep setting off your bombs whenever you fight with Hidan, someone's going to find this place. As of now, you're forbidden from using your 'art' within twenty miles of the base." Deidara's jaw dropped.

"Why did you say you needed to talk to both of us, Pein? That only concerns Deidara." Sasori wasn't even fazed.

"Because, as his partner, you're responsible for making sure that that rule is enforced." And without another word, Pein walked off. Deidara opened his mouth a few times, as if preparing to ran after him and argue, but stopped and looked down, a frown painted on his normally smiling face. The two artists walked out off the base without another word.

All was quiet for a few hours. "We're twenty miles away," Sasori stated. Deidara mumbled something. "What, brat?"

"I said whatever, un." Silence returned.

--

A few days had passed, and Deidara's cheery attitude had returned, although it seemed somewhat forced to Sasori. But, what did he know? He was an emotionless puppet, after all. The mission went well, and Deidara had been able to blow up people to his heart's content. He'd started talking about the explosions on the way home, and that had of course led to an argument about art.

"Art is brief, Sasori danna!"

"No, it's eternal, you dumb brat."

"If that were the case, rocks and dirt would be art, un!"

"And if your point is correct, brat, then a blink is art!"

"Danna, art is instantaneous, un!"

Sasori crawled out of Hiruko, attaching chakra strings to it. "Brat, art is eternal, like this puppet." He moved Hiruko around to demonstrate.

Deidara formed a small bird. "No, danna, art is-" he threw the bird into the air. Sasori realized what was about to happen, and his eyes widened. "Deidara, wait!" "-a blast!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Deidara smirked, watching the smoke drift away. "See, Sasori danna, my art-"

"YOU IDIOT!" Deidara turned in surprise to his partner. The red head looked like he was about to strangle him. "Danna, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! We're only ten miles from the base, that's what's wrong!!"

Deidara's eyes widened. He hadn't been paying any attention to their location, and he'd completely forgotten about the rule. "Danna, I'm so sorry," he whispered quietly.

"Save you apologies for Pein, brat."

--

The artists had to endure a twenty minute lecture for Deidara's mishap, and they walked to their room in silence. Both of them were now on what Pein referred to as, 'artistic probation'. In short, no puppets for three days, or bombs for two weeks.

Sasori walked into the room and sat down at his desk, sighing audibly. He felt like a little kid who'd been grounded. He heard Deidara close the door quietly behind him. "I'm sorry, Sasori danna."

The kid had been whispering that to him during the entire lecture. Sasori hadn't bothered to whisper back. Now that they were in their room, however, he felt his anger rise. "Just shut up, brat," he hissed. Deidara sat on the bed on curled up into a ball, staying quiet.

Sasori grabbed a scroll, deciding to read for a while. But, the silence was getting worse and worse. After half an hour, he turned to look at his partner. "Are you just going to pout for the next two weeks, brat?" "I'm staying quiet, un," Deidara answered, voice slightly muffled by his legs.

Sasori threw down the scroll and stomped over to his partner, grabbing him by the ponytail and yanking his face up. "What the hell do you want from me, brat?! I don't accept your freakin' apologies, so you're just gonna sulk here?! You've got no right, seeing as how your stupid excuse for art got us in trouble in the first place!"

Deidara stared into his partner's eyes. "You're the one who's acting weird, Sasori danna! And don't make fun of my art, un!"

"Even if you views were right, which they're not, your stupid bombs could never be called art!"

Deidara's eyes widened. He reached up and smacked Sasori's hand away rising to his feet. "And what's so great about your puppets, un?! They're made out of wood and flesh, un! That stuff breaks down, so they're as temporary as everything else, un!"

"What the hell would you know?! You're just a bratty freak!"

"Oh, so now I'm a freak, un?!"

"What else do you call someone with four mouths?!"

"I may be a freak, danna, but at least I'm still human, un!"

SLAP

Deidara's eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly in surprise. Sasori was just as shocked. He hadn't meant to hit Deidara; he hadn't even realized he'd done it until he heard the sound. "Deidara, I'm-"

"If you want to hurt me, Sasori danna, you're going to have to hit a lot harder than that." Deidara's eyes were half-closed, his expression unreadable. He brushed past Sasori and walked out of the room, silently shutting the door behind him. Sasori almost wished that he'd stormed off in rage. At least then he'd know what to do. He sank down onto the bed and sighed. Dammit, what to do now?

--

Days passed, and Sasori couldn't find Deidara anywhere. The blonde was probably in the woods, or something. He knew that Deidara was coming in to eat (Hidan vouched for that much) but other than that, nothing. It was unnerving, to say the least. Finally, as he was walking to the living room, he saw Deidara come in. "Deidara!" the blonde didn't respond.

Sasori ran up to him. "Deidara, can we talk?"

"No." the answer came out a very soft monotone. Sasori grabbed the sculptor's arm, stopping him. Deidara turned halfway around, staring at Sasori with a blank look on his face. After a few moments, Sasori let him go. Wordlessly the blonde turned back around, heading for their room.

At that moment, Pein walked up. "Sasori, I've got an assignment for you." The red head relaxed a little. A solo assignment sounded good right now. Maybe he should just give the blonde some space, and work this mess out later. Pein went over the details, and Sasori left to pack.

When he entered the room Deidara was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Sasori walked over to his desk, grabbing a few scrolls. "I'm going on a solo job, brat."

"How long?" Sasori almost winced. There it was again; that creepy monotone. "A few days, a week tops. Why?"

Silence. Sasori finished packing and left the room.

Deidara waited for half an hour, just to be sure that Sasori was gone. Then, he rose to his feet and grabbed his clay. He wasn't staying here any longer. But, he wasn't running away, either.

Deidara had tried running away. He'd left his village, and various groups of rogue ninjas after that. It hadn't helped ease his pain. Deidara's soul had been cracking for a while now, and that slap from Sasori had broken him completely.

He was going to blow himself up.

But, even as he said that, Deidara shook his head. Just going off and blowing himself up; it didn't seem right, somehow. He sat down, thinking hard. Why was that?....and then he remembered the clay Sasori had given him, and getting them into trouble. He hadn't repaid that debt yet. He didn't want Sasori to recall that when he died, but what to do?

An idea suddenly hit him. Sasori could always use more puppets; his were forever getting broken in battle, and rotting away. If he blew himself up, his body would be destroyed. But, if he died in a way that preserved his body, Sasori could use it.

And Sasori kept his poisons in the bottom of his closet.

The sculptor got down on his knees and crawled over, rummaging through various poisons. This one was only good for paralysis, that one took too long…A-HA! He pulled out a small jar of light blue liquid. It was one of Sasori's newer poisons. You added a few drops to a person's drink, and they'd be asleep in three hours. They'd never wake up, and 48 hours later, they'd be dead. It left no traces, and was virtually a painless death. Best of all, Sasori hadn't made an antidote for it yet, so in the unlikely event that another Akatsuki member walked in, he'd be beyond hope.

Deidara unscrewed the jar, dipping his fingers into the liquid. Just the thin film on his finger must have been 2 or 3 times the lethal dose. He opened his mouth, prepared for death-

When Sasori walked in.

--

The sculptor didn't know it, but Sasori had spent the last half hour in Pein's office, getting more info on the target. He'd only gotten out of there 5 minutes ago, and he'd realized he'd forgotten a scroll. So, he walked back to his room…only to find Deidara on the floor, a jar of poison in his lap.

--

Sasori stared for a moment, not really understanding what he was seeing. Deidara, however, was unfazed. Before Sasori could finish processing his thoughts, Deidara had stuck the finger in his mouth and swallowed the poison.

The action snapped Sasori back to attention, and he ran over. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" He screamed, pulling Deidara onto the bed.

"Sasori danna, you spilled your poison," Deidara stated matter-of-factly.

"Like that matters right now!" Sasori yelled. He began pacing the room, Deidara watching him calmly. His chest felt warm, as so did his upper legs; the poison must be working already. "What were you thinking, you stupid brat?! I don't have an antidote for that one! Grr, if you wanted attention, you should have found some other way!"

"I didn't do this for attention, danna, un." Deidara's legs felt heavy, and the warmth was spreading to his arms. This would all be perfect, if only Sasori would stop pacing and yelling.

"Yeah right! You're so lucky I was still here, if I hadn't-" Sasori froze. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to have left half an hour ago. His partner knew that. And no one else ever came into their room. The truth hit him, and a sickening feeling developed in his stomach. "Deidara?" he asked quietly.

The blonde smiled. Sasori had realized it now. "I'm sorry that I'm such a lousy partner, danna. Maybe I'll make a better puppet, un." He whispered happily. The warmth filled his entire body, tugging him into unconsciousness. He didn't resist.

30 seconds. That was how long Sasori stared at the poisoned blonde. Then he snapped.

He ran to his closet, digging out his tools and herbs rapidly, trying to find the formula for the poison. No, wait, he had to tell Pein that he couldn't go. He darted out the door, running down the hall. He yanked open Pein's office door. "I'm staying. Something's come up." He slammed the door shut before the leader could get in another word, then ran back to his room. Failing to find the formula in the closet, he rummaged through his desk drawers. Every now and then, he'd glance at Deidara, his face growing a shade paler after each look.

To anyone else, this would appear to be a normal sleep. But Sasori knew all too well that his poison was slowly tear apart the blonde from the inside out. Ordinarily, a person would have 48 hours, but considering how much Deidara had taken, he'd be lucky to get 24. Sasori smiled for an instant as he found the formula at last, before pulling out the necessary chemicals. _"All right, here we go…"_

Sasori worked straight through the night, making countless antidotes, all of which failed. Finally, he was able to make a compound that neutralized the test amount. _"Now I have to hope it really works." _He filled a syringe with the mixture, walking over to his partner.

Deidara's breathing was very shallow, his face pale, his body cold. Sasori quickly jabbed the needle into his jugular vein, then sat down to wait. Dammit, why had his partner done this in the first place?! Sasori sighed and shook his head. It didn't make sense. Deidara hadn't seemed depressed at all; well recently, yeah, but in the time he'd known the blonde, the kid had always been happy, smiling, carefree.

Except for the times he'd run off to blow up clay figurines.

Sasori shook his head again. He blew those up because everyone around here acted like he was trash. _"Including me."_ His hand stretched out, coming to rest in Deidara's hair. _"You came here because you had nowhere else to go. You're just like us; you only want somewhere to belong. No, that's wrong; you're someone that's never been loved, aren't you? You wanted some form of attachment here, didn't you? I wonder if that's all you need. Just some love…"_ Sasori bent over and kissed Deidara on the lips.

Deidara felt warmth returning, and his mind slowly returned to consciousness. _"Dammit, danna must have fixed me! Next time, I'll just-wait, what is this? It feels like…."_ He opened his eyes completely and saw Sasori kissing him. He fidgeted, and Sasori opened his eyes. Very slowly, almost reluctantly, he pulled away from the blonde, allowing his partner to sit up.

Deidara's face was bright red. "Danna?!"

Sasori smirked. "Good, the antidote worked."

Deidara looked over to Sasori's desk and saw how cluttered it was. "Danna, um…." What was he supposed to say?

Sasori brought a hand to his partner's cheek, causing the blush on Deidara's cheek to deepen. "How are you feeling?"

Deidara knocked the hand away. "How do you think I feel, un?"

"Why'd you do that, Deidara?"

What kind of question was that? "Because I wanted to die, un."

Sasori frowned. "I know that. Why did you want to die?"

Deidara looked away. "I'm sick of being hated, danna."

"I don't hate you."

Deidara laughed bitterly. "Don't lie, Sasori danna. You hate me the most, un."

Sasori felt a stab to his heart. _Was he really that bad?_ "No, I don't hate you Dei. I love you."

Deidara jumped slightly, but refused to back down. "That's a lie, un," he whispered.

"Deidara, I really and truly love you. Why can't you believe that?"

Deidara recalled their argument from a few days ago, and he turned away. "Because you called me a freak, un! Why would you do that if you cared about me at all, un?" he felt tears come to his eyes, but there was no way in hell he was letting them spill over.

"Because it's wrong for something not human to love a human."

The answer caught Deidara off-guard, and he turned to look at Sasori. The red head looked pained, and Deidara had never seen so much sadness in one person's eyes. "It isn't right for a puppet like me to love at all. I can't have feelings, Dei. But, I can't help but love you." He rose to his feet and wrapped his arms around Deidara. "But you're so perfect. I feel a little better if I tell myself that you aren't a normal human; that you're kinda like me, so it's ok to love you." His grip tightened. "But I didn't know how much I was hurting you. If I had, I would have told you sooner. I'd never have been so cruel." He pulled away, looking into Deidara's eyes. "Please, Deidara, believe me. And don't do that again."

Deidara was shaking, and he was barely able to wrap his arms around Sasori. He couldn't hold the tears back anymore, so he silently cried into Sasori's shoulder. "Deidara? Are you ok?"

"Please say that again, danna."

_Hmm?_ "I love you." He said.

Deidara's grip tightened. "Again, un."

Sasori smiled. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much, my Dei-chan."

Deidara glanced into his face for moment. "I love you too," he whispered, burying his face back in Sasori's shoulder.

"Then you won't do this again?"

Deidara's answer came out as breathy sobs. "As long as you stay here….and hold me close to you…and say you love me….than I won't do that again, un."

Sasori smiled, burying his face in his partner's blonde hair. "Well then, I'll have to stay with you forever, won't I?" Deidara's tears wouldn't allow a verbal answer, so he merely nodded. Sasori readjusted his position and sat down on the bed, pulling Deidara onto his lap. He gently ran his fingers through Deidara's hair, hushing the crying blonde. Right then, a knock was heard. "I'll get it," Sasori whispered, moving Deidara off his lap and rising to his feet.

He opened the door and saw a very angry Pein glaring at him. "You owe me an explanation," he hissed. Sasori nodded and walked out of his room, shutting the door behind him. He headed in the direction of Pein's office, the leader following close behind.

Upon arrival, Sasori sat down in a chair, while Pein sat behind his desk. All was silent for a moment. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

Pein clenched his fists. "Don't, 'well what', me, Sasori! You backed out of an assignment the day you had to leave, and then you barricade yourself in your room for the whole night, not even bothering to tell me what the hell happened."

"I went to get a scroll, and accidentally poisoned Deidara," he lied. "I had to stay and make an antidote."

"That mission was a lot more important than the brat! Honestly, Sasori, we could have just replaced him-"

Sasori rose. "With all due respect, Pein, I would appreciate it if you didn't act like Deidara was so disposable. Is there anything else?" The Akatsuki leader shook his head. "Alright." And the red head walked out of the room.

He went straight back to the bedroom, silently shutting the door behind him. While he was gone, Deidara had crawled under the covers of their bed. Smiling, Sasori walked over and undressed, crawling in beside his partner. "Danna, why am I so sleepy, un?" the sculptor asking through half-lidded eyes, yawning as he did so.

Sasori began stroking his hair. "Because you body was fighting my poison as hard as it could. You just need some sleep; you'll be fine soon enough." Deidara shut his eyes and smiled, scooting closer to his beloved. Sasori turned onto his back and pulled Deidara onto his chest, arms wrapped lazily around the blonde's slim frame. "Danna?"

"Yes?"

"Say it again, un."

"If I do, will you go to sleep?"

"Yes, un."

"I love you."

"I love you to, danna."

"Sleep."

Deidara smiled a he felt warm lips press against his forehead, and fell into unconsciousness, feeling warm again. This time, though, the warmth was not from poison, but from love.


End file.
